Showing up...

My mom has always been the one person in my life I can count on to be the same. No matter what is happening, she’s always been steady and no nonsense. If she has something to say, she’ll say it without worrying about who likes it. Though, much of the time, she watches everything around her and keeps her opinions to herself. Instead of being loud and obnoxious, she generally shows you what she thinks about something by the way she either embraces it or ignores it. I like that about her. I also like that about myself. I consider myself to be very lucky to have a mother like mine. I can’t imagine my life without her. And quite frankly, I refuse to.

I’ve written a little about past Mother’s Day memories –things like going to the florist to pick up roses that my dad had ordered for her. Every year, we went to the same shop and picked up a beautiful bouquet for her. We had rosebushes planted along the driveway…I think. Or at least, big, fluffy flowers that bloomed each season without fail. I was like five or six, so my specific recall of the species of flower is a bit fuzzy. The point is that they always showed up, just like my mom.

In the days that I remember with the most fondness, my mother would send me off to school and when I returned, she would make my favorite spaghetti and meatballs for my afternoon snack. It was from a can, but that’s what I wanted and that’s what she gave me. Dinner was always homemade and I’m sure it was delicious, though I was so picky as a child that I missed some of her best work because I was such a spoiled brat. Later, when I had the privilege of eating dinner with her as an adult, I often kicked myself for pushing those plates away when I was too dumb to appreciate a good meal.

My mom is still a great cook and she loves to look for new recipes to try. She likes to find food that will help make you or keep you healthy, but that still tastes good. She’s not afraid to put the effort in, even if it sometimes feels like no one appreciates it. She has always been that way. I’ve watched her for 53 years, so I think I can speak as an expert on the matter. She’s selfless. She’s strong.

I wish I could say that I am a lot like her, but I don’t think I could ever live up to her example. I’m just too bitchy. Probably from years of watching people like my mom get mistreated by people who cared more about themselves than anyone else. Try not to read too much into that statement. I’m not pointing fingers at this point in my life, but I will say that my mother never deserved the things that she had to endure as I was growing up. That’s a whole other matter that I’m not likely to discuss openly. What matters is that I saw it, and I understood that it wasn’t the way things were supposed to be. I’m glad things changed and that she is at least happy now.

My mom is the type of person that I want to be. Honest, steady, and faithful. Not showy. Not overbearing. But smart and capable with a good sense of humor and an even better sense of fairness. She loves her kids and grandkids, her dog, and her husband. She does more for others than they deserve. And she is always up for an adventure. Even if that adventure is just a simple trip to a fruit market or antique shop. It doesn’t have to be fancy to make her happy. I really don’t know how she manages to maintain that mindset and “heartset” after all of the things she’s dealt with, but I’m glad that I have had the ability to see her in action all these years and hope for at least another hundred years or so of it.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I love you and hope you have a day as wonderful as you are!

And Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there who are dealing with more than they asked for or know how to deal with. Lean on God and keep going. You’re doing just fine.