Digging In: An HGBM Contributing Author Spotlight

This week we continue with Stephen Shepherd's story about loss and faith.

Trauma and Christian Faith (Part Two)

By HGBM Contributing Author, Stephen Shepherd

“And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbors, saying unto them. Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost” (Luke 15:6).

Many years ago, I lost twin sons. My pregnant wife slipped on a stairway and fell. The twin boys were fully formed but born too prematurely. I spent four days at the hospital watching them die. They were small and perfect human beings, and I could not do anything to save them. I was helpless and powerless. All that I could do was stand staring into the nursery window to watch them struggle to stay alive, although I knew they wouldn’t. The Charge Nurse at the hospital nursery was a secular demon from Satan. She told me to “man-up” and to “get over it” because “it happened all the time.” But it did not happen to me all the time. Her callous words were worthless and harmful.

While my sons were dying, I travelled back-and-forth between home and the hospital. At home, I sat in a Lazy-Boy recliner sobbing for days with my cat Luther curled up on my lap. I cried uncontrollably, not knowing what else to do. My secular upbringing offered me no solace in my despair. My mourning for the loss of my twin boys continued for decades, until Jesus found me one day and offered me His advice written in the Bible. God’s Word told me that one day I would meet my young sons again in heaven. I would recognize them, and they would recognize me. So, their death was not the end of our relationship, but the beginning. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

God’s words of truth enabled me to carry the burden of that trauma because I now live in the salvation of Jesus Christ. “… with God All things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). Losing my twin boys was a traumatic event that will never leave me. Its influence still settles on my life every day, but now it is more like a soft morning dew of understanding than the sound of a screeching halt, for God in His infinite wisdom has allowed me to understand it and to move forward from it by His revelation that I will be rejoining my twin sons in heaven. God’s grace replaced the devastation of my trauma with hope, and this has made all the difference.

Every story of trauma carries its own path toward understanding and healing. This week’s reflection reminds us that faith can reshape even the deepest grief, replacing despair with the quiet promise of hope.

And sometimes that promise is what allows us to keep moving forward, one day at a time.